when a girl showed me affection I jump at the opportunity to be admired, loved, adored… these are things that fade in a marriage or at least become less noticable. i know all too well, we are finally apart, he left but i’m okay, god set me free!! Weeks later I found out through a mutual friend that she was seeing some one else. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material [including but not limited to site title, graphic designs, logo, "Map" references { i.e. It has taken years for us to come to grips with the fact my wife has BP. I used techniques eventually to stay in the moment, not react to his moods, anger and delusions.. Her Bipolar disorder is severe, and her narcissism prevents her from admitting anything to me amd from taking responsibility for what she has done. Have told her this many times, but no action. Of course I found out she was still seeing him and enough was enough. Honestly I am in the same boat as you and am considering calling it quits. BP is so horrible … I don’t even know what he has to deal with day to day … but from what I’ve read … it’s a prison sentence. while on paxil he was hypomanic and would not believe me. I always thought that I was stable and would manage to avoid this terrible desease. She later wanted to reconcile, but said that she could not guarantee not having another affair down the road at some point. People with bipolar disorder can turn to the International Bipolar Foundation for more information on the illness, personal stories about lying, and ways they can find treatment and help. I’ve been going through the same thing for the last 3 years. I have had affairs and always wondered why I do it. She is my best friend and soul mate so I am by her side all the way. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t still make mistakes. Bipolar Disorder and Love . God bless you all. I found out after talking to his ex wife, that a lot of the things that he had told me were very twisted to his advantage. I am not saying in any way that the horrible lies, cheating and/or up and dumping someone out of the blue for no reason is in any way acceptable but I look at the majority of the types that I attract more often, that constant vibe of expecting to have their feet kissed because they want their denial validated is crap. I was misdiagnosed and my medication made my BP worse..I was told I have emotionally unstable disorder and medicated for that. He did basically the same to her, only left her with 2 small children to raise by herself. I pray for him every day. My wife is sick and so is yours. I have been married for 30 years and my wife was diagnosed bi polar after the birth of our fisrt child. I have mentioned to her that she needs to seek help that her actions come with out warning and she gets abusive. after two months he came home because i fell down some stairs and really hurt myself. He hates me for this.. we have been married for 26 years, together since we’ve been 24 years old. I just want more of a rock and roll attitude from my partner. not a long on going affair in fact 3 short periods over 2 years. At any rate we have been married 22 years and this is 100% not her. I am exhausted and tired. It was the affects of the years of drugs and alcohol. Not just once, but for as long as it takes. It would have cleared up so many questions for me and helped me make the decision to break off the marriage. I asked her at least every few days if there was anything I could do to help her be happy, because I hated seeing her depressed and feeling helpless, and all she could come up with was that I wasn’t doing enough to take away her domestic stressors and that because I would slip up and forget or mess up sometimes that I wasn’t “showing her love” even though I said I loved her many times a day, was constantly hugging and kissing her and being affectionate. Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Bipolar Infidelity: How My Compass Pointed Me In The Wrong Direction, The Forbidden Forest: How My Mania Helped Me Cheat On My Husband, The Forbidden Forest: How My Mania Helped Me Cheat On My Husband, Follow The Bipolar Compass on WordPress.com, Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, Constantly talking about sex and listening to sexually driven music (“baby making music”), Watch pornography/sexually driven movies more frequently (I watched Magic Mike XXL two times in less than 24 hrs when it came out! So, it was the final straw for me; I’ve broken the engagement, canceled the wedding, and found an apartment (which is always an uncomfortable feeling when you’ve lived in a house for so long). After the initial “I’m sorry”, he repeatedly told me to “get over it”, which caused even more pain and damage to our relationship. Shutterstock. At the age of 36, after decades of struggle with erratic mood swings—periods of mania followed by debilitating depression—and ample doses of anxiety and frustration, Julie Kraft, a mother of three, was finally diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2010. wow what a ride. She has long-term severe clinical depression (which she is taking meds for) and BPD, which she is in denial about having, even though her sister and father both have BPD and her mother and brother have serious depression also. I would’ve stopped myself at any time if I really truly asked for help and not lied to my psychiatrist about my emotions. "The Firth", "The Fog", "The Fire", etc}] without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. She never lets her cell phone out of reach, and when she goes to bed it’s somewhere on her side. next thing he was going to his sister’s home who lives several hours from us. Hope that helps. Fortunately, my wife is really good about taking her meds and seeking therapy. Does he have enough power to control himself? I had hate for her because of her actions and the way she acted up and down all the time messed my head up I did not know what to expect next she said the d word on multiple occasions and emotionalg drained me to the point I loved her but hated her so things were off. We can all lead great bipolar lives! Bottom line: Get help when you are having an episode. I could not take any more, I told him to get help or leave. The back and forth is taking a toll on me. My fiancé (ex-fiancé is more presently accurate) and partner of three years has been recently diagnosed with BD. i got into a major rage and started throwing everything i could get my hands on. Call me cruel or harsh but cheating is never okay. When a nurse found me and said the following, my life changed: “Julie, bipolar disorder has a symptom called hypersexuality. It went from him cheating to me catching him, to him being mad that I cought him and blaming me for being upset and then him begging and pleading for another chance. I have read all the above comments, life stories and pain.. Out of despair and despondency I looked up for some support today to sustain my ongoing challenges.. Is this all BP coming on or is it just a regular mid-life crisis? The next day I call her to pick her up and she says she doesn’t feel like going and claimed I drugged her the night before and if I come to her house she will call the police. I have no idea how to express my gratitude. If I tried to talk to him about the way he was making me feel he showed no concern for my feeling and only became angry at me and refuesed all sexual contact. Now the important thing is to work with my psychiatrist to get me stable. That I won’t be a monster that will keep hurting my husband and family. You either take such a condition seriously or you don’t and thus don’t take the affected person serisously either! For the few times I had seen him he was just always so happy to be home and spend time with me. the thing is ive only went as far as “oral”…and then it was on to the next one. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jess Melancholia and The Bipolar Compass with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Good luck to all of you, and if I am able to give any advise from my experience, it would be to appreciate the time, love, loyalty and devotion that a partner of a BP puts in. P.S. My fiancé and I met each other when we were both very young and sick individuals, yet I grew, progressed, maintained my sobriety, and built a great life, and yet, the last two years I’ve watched him suffer or hurt me time and time again. The affair started when we were on married for 3 months. I will use the information from this site and blog to reconsider everything. The only reason it did not go further is he is a state away. Put yourself first. I think my fiance is bipolar.His mood swings are draining me,the emotional and mental abuse is shocking and the disrespect is heart wrenching. We don’t fight or yell or disrespect each other at all. This is really insane and what a sudden switch of behavior! She just kept changing her mind every week or two about working it out or leaving. She has taken full responsibility for her actions and is doing everything asked. But my husband has left me because I know he has mental health problem.. I only see him when he comes home to take a shower. If you are in the situation I was in, hold out hope. While I have focused my academics upon mental health, dating BD has been a very painful process. Maybe I am wrong but his history now that i see it is like writing on the wall. She gaslights and claims I’m a pycopath and wants nothing to do with me she is cold blooded such a change from when I first met her. We have been in and out of hospitals for 6 months nad still the problem continues. I keep talking logic and responsibility and she keeps insisting on being a brat. I know I shouldn’t let her drink but it’s difficult because we’re both ADHD, and we like socializing on weekends. A recent study claimed that 37% of subjects who were bipolar engaged in sexual compulsivity. The details of that will be in another blog that will give a complete story of what happened and how I got swept up. I cant believe my beloved husband has turned this way. i am glade i found this web site i have been looking for answers and questions like this hear bc i am bipolar and get stuff good to know im not alone thank you, I am a 50-year old female who was diagnosed with Bipolar Type II five years ago. I just need to know I’m not the only one that is going through this. you just have to stand up and admit the problem and work your butt off…the end is freedom. He always says he hates life because it revolves around money. She is on three different types of meds, the dosage is higher than before however it seems like she is farther away mentally. The majority of BP patients also have other illness in conjunction with this disease. I can’t tell you how disgusted and relived I was to find out that I was STD clean after finding the sites on his phone. Is there hope for her or am I being used as a sap for a person who insists on not taking responsibility for her actions. Once I was out and she came home, we talked again, and she started telling me it was all my fault because I “don’t know how to treat people.” She was at her BPD extreme. He is great father to his kids that he has with his ex. I am trying to stop now and have closed email accounts and told some of the guys I did not want to see them again. Believe me. So we will be separated for 5 months this winter. So my game was off . He tells his friends things so that they feel sorry for him, he has already met someone else and is now having another relationship, he lies to family, to his Psychiatrist and to me. Does he deserves another chance? These relationships can include friendships, family and romantic relationships. There doesn’t seem to be a way when you’re manic (in my case hypomanic – a watered down version of Bipolar Disorder I mania) to get proper sexual release. I soon found out that she would wake up in the middle of the night and sneak out to have sex and also bring guys over while I was sleeping and have sex with them. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE DON’T NEED HELP AND SUPPORT! Are there any medications anyone suggests her to look into that will curve her swings? BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE DON’T NEED HELP AND SUPPORT! It’s amazing that I seem to accidently come across this blog, but then again I believe there are not accidents as we would like to believe. Wife is not. Anyway, thanks for listening. I got diagnosed with Bipolar and am on Depakote, Zoloft, and Klonopin. She promised not to do it anymore. Within 2 months I found out he was still seeing her, at this point we had agree a sale on our house andvwere happy with the new house we had chosen, my family were starting to forgive him and we were moving forward. I had hoped i could take good care of him, help him thru therapy, and get him to the right medication. It’s like a a different person takes his place, and the cycle begins: he does horribly unsafe and hurtful things, comes out of it, begs forgiveness, gets better, eventually uses drugs because of guilt, gets better agian, then does horrible impulsive behavior all over again and off we go. I love her but I would never ever accept her cheating , He was finally diagnosed with BP in Dec. 2010 after a breakdown and rekindling his affair with the woman he was sexting. While we can laugh about it now, when he first got sober, they diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder, which turned out to be totally not true. any time i tried to communicate he was nasty as all hell. Regardless, it is very painful on the kids, spouses ect… I’m extremely worried that she won’t come back mentally? I have 4 children. This one was the worst. When I asked why, she told me I didn’t need to know where she was all the time, and that I was being too controlling. I deserve stability, loyalty, and honesty, and I get so frustrated when he hints at a complete lack of premeditation on being those things when these episodes occur. Now she is blame shifting and saying that I am the one cheating. I debated on whether or not to try to start my long and arduous story of my broken childhood, painful verbal abuse, and overall emotional roller coasters with one of the most painful and taboo bipolar symptoms: hypersexuality. This is just honesty. Over the past 6 months there has been such a dramatic change in his behavior that I no longer reconize him as the person that I moved here with. My son’s father has all the BP symptoms and I have been with him on and off almost 16 years. I see a counselor now and i’m strong and getting a divorce, 17 years and two marriages to him is enough. Our sex life was okay, but she often got “overwhelmed” afterward and wanted to withdraw from the emotions attached. This evening my husband was admitted into the mental hospital for the second time in two weeks for trying to kill himself. and he blamed me for what he had done. A psychologist told me there is hope as he have patients happily married for years after cheating on their spouses……and when they stay on treatment the cheating issue could dissappear. It’s not being “easy” or having sex for fun. I have a 20 year old son who is being treated for bipolar disorder and adhd. He was diagnosed bipolar in December 2015 and we have since separated after I caught him cheating for the third time (probably many more than that though). This blog however really makes me a little more forgiving of myself because at least I know that I do love my husband and I am not a real monster, I just have a monster in my head. I cheated. Desire and obsessive preoccupation with sex and she would become extremely happy to the bi polar i ’... Series of blogs focusing on the streets bipolar to deal with, IMHO was. 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